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HOW TO GET A BOOTY, now in two ways!
I got a few messages asking what sorts of butt exercises I did — and guys, you have no idea how much of a workout it is to be born with my genes —but today after work, I figured it was time to hit the weights in addition to the mile I’d already run for the #rwrunstreak challenge.
OPTION 1, done best when fueled by songs like Kanye West’s ‘Monster’ and, of course, this because hey, talk about subliminal, motivational messages and a hell of a lot of comedic throwback — this was my jam in high school, kids.
- WARM UP: 1/2 mile run on treadmill. (4 minutes)
- SET A, repeat 3 times, 30 second rest between sets:
- Bent over close grip rows, 15.
- Bent over wide grip rows, 15.
- Standing overhead press, 10.
- 1 minute plank.
- 1/2 mile run on treadmill. (4 minutes)
- SET B, repeat 3 times, do not rest between sets:
- Weighted split squat, 15 on each leg.
- Step up, 15 on each leg.
- Lateral lunges, 15 on each leg.
- Squat-jumps, 10.
- 1/2 mile run on treadmill. (4 minutes)
OPTION 2, buy me a drink. I’m a cheap date. … wait, you mean you didn’t want to get booty? (BA DUMP BUMP CHCCH!)
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I AM REALLY GLAD I WENT FOR A RUN TONIGHT.
Because no matter how tired I was from working 11 hours, and no matter how prohibitively hot it was — because no, guys, I don’t actually glisten and glow like I’ve been photoshopped in real life — and no matter how pissed off I was about douchebags and their completely unwarranted comments as to whether or not they thought I was pretty, I found somebody’s phone when I hit the two mile mark, stopped, and didn’t leave until they came back for it. I returned a phone tonight, and I’m a good person, and I went for a run, and I feel better, and jackass Marines can suck it.
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What I think is a quirky sense of humor is probably perceived by the driven people who raise money for charity as being a complete smart ass. Now, all I have to do is decide if I want to cross the dark side and actually work for a cause. Except next year, the marathon actually FALLS ON my birthday, so I could save the whole first marathon!! thing for then… Or I could call myself out on that bullshit excuse and just do the damn thing, symbolism be damned. I know, tough life choices and #gymbratproblems, man. How’s a girl to choose?
(via andellasaid)
Here is a little something fun from Kim, the one who started it all…
“Pigeon pose for all the yoga lovers”
HOW TO MAKE IT IN MANHATTAN.
I often get asked how to survive when you first make the move to New York City, so this is a really cursory and completely politically incorrect list of tips to get the most basic of bearings. Granted, I was coddled in my move to the city because I went to college here and did my time in dorms and never had to really leave a three block radius, and my parents and student loans helped me pay for my apartment in the first years of living here, but I’ve still picked up a thing or two in the year that I’ve managed to pay all my bills like a grown up.
- ON WHERE YOU’RE GOING TO LIVE: Use Facebook to see if you know anyone in the city who has a couch you can borrow or even rent out for a few weeks. I’m serious on this; it helps ease you into the shock of the city and is way cheaper than staying in a hotel or hostel while you apartment hunt. Most people in the city would be happy to have a little extra money to put towards their rent, and living in the city isn’t complete without a couch-as-bed or mattress-on-the-floor “WHEN I FIRST MOVED HERE!” horror story. (Mine is a yoga-mat-on-the-floor story, but, you know. It ain’t fitness; it’s my life.)
- ON WHERE YOU’RE GOING TO LIVE CONT’D: Sublet an apartment for a few months before you decide which area you’d like to live in. Craigslist isn’t actually as scary a place as you’d expect it to be for finding sublets. Both of my roommates are from Craigslist, and they’re not so weird. Friending the people on Facebook before you meet them is key here, though; my old roommates and I screened everyone through that site before we even considered asking them to tour the apartment. (Seriously, Mark Zuckerburg, thank you for doing your part to weird out the creepy people from the rest of the weird New Yorkers.)
- WHEN YOU FIND YOUR APARTMENT, MOVE FAST: put the money down immediately. Don’t even take three days to do it. It’ll be off the market and somebody else will live there if you take even two breaths. That’s how fast the real estate market moves here. That’s how fast everything moves here. Get used to it, and get up to that speed. Use it as the standard by which you measure the time it takes to do everything else.
- GET A THICK SKIN: Yes, New Yorkers are pissed off, but often, we’re not pissed at you, so don’t ever take it personally. If you do, you’re essentially giving us a reason to be mad at you, and trust me, we will be, but only because we’d like to take out our frustration on something in this godforsaken city, and you’re standing right there, all happy and smiling and friendly and sensitive, like a tourist. And tourists are the easiest scapegoats of all.
- BUDGET EVERYTHING: Set limits for everything you spend money on, from booze to restaurants to coffee to the subway. It’s the weeks when I get really Starbucks-happy that I see my money go out the window the fastest, so I limit myself to loading my card to $25 once a week. When it’s gone, I have to make do with coffee from home or from my boss’ apartment, no exceptions.
- ON THOSE SPEEDY YELLOW CARS: They’re convenient and they’re everywhere you look, but only use cabs sparingly, and off-duty town cars even less. Also, figure out if you’re going to use the subway enough to warrant buying an unlimited card (at least twice, maybe even three times a day) but if you don’t, try to walk everywhere. Consider buying a bike if it’ll be worth the investment.
- GET THE SUBWAY MAP APP ON YOUR PHONE. SURREPTITIOUSLY STARE AT IT ACCORDINGLY, BUT MAKE IT LOOK LIKE YOU’RE PLAYING TEMPLE RUN: because if you have to ask if this train stops somewhere, or if you pull out a full sized map, then you really look like a tourist, and people will just take advantage of you.
- GO OUT OF YOUR WAY FOR CHEAP GROCERIES: Trader Joe’s and Fairway Market will be your new destination shopping trips, and believe it or not, most of the store brand products at Whole Foods are cheaper (and definitely better quality) than the store brand products at other grocery stores like D’Agostino’s or Food Emporium. Also, the fruit carts that line the streets, especially now that it’s spring, are the cheapest source of fruit — but it goes bad sooner, usually in a few days, so keep that in mind and only buy as much as you’ll be able to eat.
- (COMPLETELY OPTIONAL): GO VEGETARIAN?! Honestly, meat is the single most expensive thing at most grocery stores, and because I buy beans and other cheap staples instead, I don’t have to fork over 8 dollars for a pound of chicken. (I will fork over 8 bucks for half a pound of really good cheese, however, but hey, priorities.) On that note, frozen vegetables are often cheaper and don’t go bad like fresh vegetables do. They’re usually also conveniently chopped and save time, so hey, everybody wins!
- GROUPON. LIVING SOCIAL. LIFE BOOKER. If you don’t know these websites, get to know them. They will be your best friends forever.
- SALE RACKS ARE YOUR BEST FRIEND: Stores like Intermix, Olive & Bette, and Bloomingdale’s might seem all fancy and expensive and intimidating, but if you make a beeline to the sale rack when the Extra 40% Off! sales are happening, you can buy J. Brand jeans for $40. Yes, really. I never pay full retail for anything at all. There is always a discount you can find somewhere.
- COUPONS ARE LIKE FREE MONEY, not something relegated to your great-aunt. Use them, but only if you’re genuinely going to buy the product anyway.
- CONSIDER ONLY HAVING BASIC - FREE! - CABLE: you still get the news, most weeknight shows, and that guilty pleasure, the Food Network. (Yes, Queen Diabeetus and Half-assed Cooking & Cocktail Hour Sandra Lee are on basic cable.) If you miss a show, they’re usually online, so you don’t need TiVo. And if you really need HBO, ask your parents for their HBOGo log-in. I still use my stepdad’s code. Hey, you’re living life on the cheap now. There’s other ways to see Girls beyond paying $70 a month. That would just be silly.
- FIND THOSE THINGS THAT ARE WORTH THE EXTRA EXPENSE: Time is the most valuable thing in this whole city, so if you decide it’s more important to have an extra three hours on your days off to yourself than it is to save $10 by doing your laundry yourself at the laundromat, have your laundry sent out to a place that does wash-n-fold. Salons often run a Monday-Wednesday special where a mani-pedi combo is discounted, and tons of places have a Buy 10, Get 1 Free card system. If belonging to a more expensive gym means you’ll use it more, spring for the more expensive gym — but only if you’ll actually go.
- ALTERNATIVELY, FIND A WORK-STUDY PROGRAM: a lot of gyms and yoga studios have programs where you can work a few hours a week for free membership. Nobody has money in the city anymore, and that includes businesses and their ability to pay a staff, so they trade for services instead. That’s how crappy the economy is; we’re back to the barter system, ladies and gents.
- FREE (OR HEAVILY DISCOUNTED) THINGS TO DO! Honestly, the city is really great for this. They show free movies in Bryant Park every summer, so you can bring dinner and have an outdoor picnic. Get a library card. Look up Restaurant Week if there’s a place you’ve been dying to try, or go there for lunch — which is almost always cheaper than dinner. Also, I’m probably the biggest asshole in the world for admitting this, but most museum prices are suggested donations, not set in stone. You could refuse to pay anything and still get in, of course but that’s a total dick move. Instead, I still say I’m a student and ask if I can pay $5 or $10 because I’m writing a paper on ________. If you go often enough, you could consider buying a membership, or the small donations add up. Whatever makes you sleep better at night.
- GET CREATIVE WITH YOUR JOB SEARCH. There’s always going to be somebody more busy than you are, and they’ll be willing to pay you to essentially live their nonworking life for them. I know people who basically just go to somebody’s apartment, walk their dog, grocery shop for them, tidy up a little, do laundry, and just chill out at the apartment. It’s like being a maid but with a lot more leniency. Pick up a shift as a bartender. Babysit. There’s always something you can do. Let’s just not stoop to selling yourself on the streets. Let’s rephrase: there’s always something classy you can do. You have to sell your soul to live here, not your morals. So no, Tim Tebow, God won’t forsake you, after all.
(Source: app.meinmyplace.com, via andellasaid)
Apparently, it was Bring Your Booty to Work (Out) Day.
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